| | Alive?, not quite dead?..... RAWR! Yes I somehow live and dost my computer as well, face to face, we have survived the last few days of a summer hell/paradise before the 2nd stage had broken out (school). Sept 02 08 we go to school from 10:30-12pm for a 30 min procedure which is handing in our medical forms, getting out timetable, getting our lockers and reviewing stupid rules while at the same time mocking them and debating about who came up with them and if they really expect people to listen (and yes our teacher lead the whole things from the beginning to end). But for me it wasn't that easy, because i forgot my form i wasnt allowed into the calss, I eventually got my form but it wasnt filled out, so it was no use at all. I called my mother and stressed at her (I feel horriable about it) but me with my pride, low IQ, and horriable personality I never apologized T___T(more like avoided her) I plan to say sorry next time I get a chance. It would be nice if it works out but I feel like all I do is apologize and thank my mother it give me a weird feeling of guilt for some reason. My mom never gets mad at me when i stress and stuff well she probably has but i dont remeber any at the moment on yes back to my form. I mentioned that it wasn't filled so i still wasn't allowed to get any of my intended to get things so going to school that day was COMPLETELY POINTLESS AND A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. On even greater news it was hellishly hot and my new shoes had caused me to yet again re-open a cut on my heel so when i got home it was a bloody mess =____= it was a small cut to yet so much blood....sigh.....other then that the rest of my day was filled with me having a headache and emotional dispute in my room with family members and myself ^^ fantasic right? Sigh~ and in the end it's my fault and a heavy consious holds me down, But thats to my twisted strange personality at the same time my easy going character takes over, that doesn't last long though soon after I'm stressing about my art and future and art again them more art! =D =D. I dont know if i mentioned this in my profile but i want to be a graphic novel artist in the future ^^ and i know that i have one hell of a road ahead of me in the future. I'm looking forward to it yet very, very ,very afraid at the same time it's just the normal uneasy feeling every unconfident person has when they are half assing their life and know it but is to half assed to do anything about it and thus leading them to use this "half assed" personality trait as an excuse, though i know what i am which is a half asser, thanks to the variations of personalities that my family holds; a very asain mother, perfectionist to most things, looks out for the best for her children, stresses good taste and a nice life/lifestyle. The eldest sibling my older sister she is a very pretty person, she acts like a child time to time, but she is a very nice and smart person, with respectable and unrespectable aspects(only from my point of view) but thanks to her i have grown to be more mature and have a more open mind. i personaly think she resembles my mother alot in many ways. but moving on my father is a bia's person? =____= but at the same time he's a funny person, he is very serious about his children and their lives, even though he expresses it in a negative way, but what asain parents dont think that their children could do better then getting A+'s or 100%, even so, this is his way of looking out for the best in his kids. Finally the the 2nd oldest sibling of min who also resembles my father the most is my brother, how do i say this...my brothers offen misunderstood, as a jerk, he really isnt liek my father he's a serious, as well as funny person, ever since i was small i admired my brother for his skills and smarts. Even though he was a mean and harsh person, but that was because he looked at the world differently then others every one does, thanks to my brother i think i'm a little smarter then i sould have been. he gives me a s erious look on the world and things unlike my sister he has made me to grow up as an indifferent person to bad situations and to think things deeper then they appear. i jsut noticed how did i get into writting so much nonsense about my family all of a sudden this was jsut suppose to be a entery about my horriable school day and it somehow ended up about my weid family and my current opinion on them well most likely i wasnt even able to prtray 90% of my resepect and thankfullness to them in the short discription, basically they made me who i am, should they be at fault, or prised, is up to reader's, freinds adn reandom ppl who know me ^^ Ja-ne~ |
